MALL COPS - Suspicious Suitcase at Mall of America

In a further attempt to acclimate to Minnesotan life, Kyle (The Groom) suggested I watch "Mall Cops, Mall of America." For those of you who were NOT obsessed with going to the Mall of American in 6th grade, let me educate you on this shopping haven.  Although I have yet to fulfill that childhood dream, I've done extensive research: Although owned by a Canadian company, the Mall of America is the largest Mall in The United States. MOA (as the locals call it), houses not only a plethora of retail stores but also an indoor theme park.  The most recent addition to the theme park is a ride called "SpongeBob SquarePants Rock Bottom Plunge."  Although I can not explain exactly why, I feel like that is an inappropriate name for a childrens ride.

After watching the featured clip above, I have a couple of concerns:

First, the fact that Minnesotans think a suspicious suitcase is more terrifying than a visit from Sarah Palin has me a bit unsettled.  I would much rather sit in a room with a suitcase that may or may not blow up, than sit in a room with Sarah Palin, but hey, that's just me.

Second, the officer inspecting the suitcase claims he is looking for guns (ok I get that), knives (why go to the trouble of packing a suitcase full of knives, but still, ok) and body-parts.  Wait....  BODY-PARTS?! He says that so casually, like this is a common occurrence.  "Hi honey, how was your day?", "Oh you know, the usual.  Caught a couple shop lifters, told some kids to quiet down, rode my Segway, found some body-parts in a suitcase.  No biggie." 

My concerns regarding safety in this foreign land are growing by the minute.  What kind of place is this?!  I wish I could write more, but I suddenly feel the urge to research concealed weapon laws in Minnesota out of pure fear of ending up stuffed in a suitcase in the Mall of America next to Sarah Palin.